Monday, March 29, 2004

On Monday I wished that it was Tuesday night so I could wish for the weekend to come.

As you will have realised by now I love quotes.

Speeches, lyrics, one-liners - it's all the same to me.

You should also have noticed, my blog is named after a Billy Bragg lyric and reading through old posts I realise I am virtually incapable of writing anything down without including a Bill Hicks quote.

I guess I get it from my Dad. He has a plaque on his office wall with an illustrated John Lennon quote: "Life's what happens while you're busy making other plans."

It's a quote that has stuck with me over the years. Not least because it characterises much of what has happened to me up to this point (two weeks off my 33rd birthday).

I always seem to be waiting for something and there's always a reason why I can't do what I want. In the short term I wait for the weekend. Longer term for paydays and even longer term for holidays. And day in, day out - I wish my life away.

There have been a few changes recently. Firstly, working at home means that I no longer crave the weekends as much as I did. Don't get me wrong - give me Saturday over Monday any day but I don't have that Sunday night feeling of dread I used to have.

Secondly, my waiting has more recently been about hoping, on a daily basis, that a client might get their finger out and decide to pay me what they owe me. In the meantime my social life is zero and I haven't bought so much as a CD in three months.

In the longer term I'm waiting to take up my post with VSO. More than likely it may take six or seven months for a job to come up. In the meantime I don't even know where it will be.

This weekend I am going on a VSO training course. I am really looking forward to it. No doubt it will make it feel a little more real and I can hopefully find out how long this process is likely to take. The other good news is that finally a large cheque, that I have been waiting for seemingly forever, finally clears tomorrow and I can spend some money.

It won't be a massive spend. BUt I think I am due a couple of books and maybe some CDs.

Then...(drum roll) the Glastonbury tickets go on sale on Thursday. My money has arrived just in time.

So, life is moving on. And while I'm hardly living it to the full I can at least see some light at the end of the tunnel.

I have no kids, and have no real desire to have any either. However, kids must answer once and for all that "what the hell am I doing with my life" question.

Once you have kids then that is your raison d'etre. You are here to carry on the human race and to bring up your offspring in a manner that will hopefully make them as inoffensive as possible.

The rest of us have to set out our own goals and challenges. Taking time off to go travelling, the year before last, I finally realised what my plan was. It was to have no plan. My aims and ambitions are simply to live life to the full and to savour everyday. I want to be in a position whereby I am no longer wishing the days away. It helps that through VSO I will be hopefully helping people.

Waiting seems to be a general theme will all my friends right now. My sister is waiting to have her first child, my flatmate is waiting to buy a house, move out and marry his fiance. Even football has been tinged by waiting recently. We'd all anticipated that it would soon be the end of the road for Sir Bobby. All in all the old boy has done us proud, but bizarre recent decisions have made many of us hanker for a new man at the helm. Sir Bob has just got a contract extension - so that's another 12 months wait.

Being a Newcastle fan makes you good at waiting. I've waited over 20 years as a season ticket holder and we have won nothing. What's another year?

I guess it's all this waiting that makes us all such good consumers. Necessities apart, much of what we buy ourselves could be described as little treats to distract ourselves from the wait.

Three months till your next holiday? Buy yourself a session on a sun bed.

Two more months till Glastonbury? Get the Kings of Leon CD so you can singalong when they play live.

Ten more years till you catch Arsenal, Man U and Chelsea? Buy bloody Lee Bowyer and spend the season shouting at him for being a useless, one-paced, lazy get. (Not to mention utter racist scumbag).

I want the waiting to stop. Or at least I want to enjoy the life that I am living while I'm busy making other plans. I'm convinced VSO will be the start of a whole new chapter in my life. Who knows where it will take me.

I've spent my life waiting for something to happen. It's time to make something happen.

I can't wait.


Love, light and peace,

BykerSink

I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them but they were only satellites. It's wrong to wish on space hardware. I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care.