Thursday, April 08, 2004

What happened in the past. Remained a mystery of natural history.

When it comes to a traditional diary, it's not advisable to read someone else's.

But what of webloggers? We write our diaries on-line knowing they will be read by others.

We can cloak ourselves in anonymity and to a certain extent we may pretend that this can excuse our lack of care for those close to us.

I've just had a visit from a very good friend. I had been so chuffed by that Guardian article and from the response to my weblog that I mentioned it to him. Not surprisingly he looked it up.

It didn't occur to me at the time that there was information there that should have remained private and, more importantly, probably shouldn't be included at all.

In the past I have criticised friends on here. Or, at least, it may appear that way. For that I should apologise. The only defence I can make is that the feelings that I put to words were a reflection of the very second I was typing. I can't defend them as either rational or fair.

This blog is very much a document of a personal journey. Post thirty I think we all get that feeling of what the hell we are supposed to be doing with our lives. In the next 12 months a few of my friends are getting married. My comments on this can be read as being anti-marriage. I am not, it's not something I envisage happening to me in the near future, but it does not mean that I am not happy that my friends are settling down.

I can say, without exception, that I like, and have the greatest respect for, each of the partners they have chosen. Both brides and grooms-to be have chosen well.

My comments should be read as a demonstration of my own insecurities and weaknesses rather than any failings of others. There is also the problem that cold, hard text can appear so much more brutal than a tongue-in-cheek line delivered with a smirk and wink.

In the wake of that Guardian article, I suggested another blogger doesn't amend her past posts. In hind sight I was wrong. I am going to be amending old posts, because as they stand they are not representative of either how I currently feel or how I should have felt back there.

I have a lot of very good friends to who I owe more than what I have written. As a demonstration of their good nature and friendship they were willing to discuss what they found hurtful about the blog, rather than simply stop taking my calls. That, in itself, demonstrates what good people they are.

There are a few people I owe an apology too. This posting is the first step in that apology. However, I am also aware that I have a little more work to do in order to demonstrate that the apology is heart felt.

Love, light and peace,


I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them but they were only satellites. It's wrong to wish on space hardware. I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care.