Thursday, August 26, 2004

What's the point?


TWAT

Okay the following post is inspired by the utter laughing stock that is Newcastle United. It's bitter. It's twisted. But, hey, read it anyway.

When you think about it football is pretty abhorrent.

I pay £450 a year, money that is often difficult to find, to watch Newcastle United play at St James' Park.

To divvy up where that goes - I suppose it breaks down as running costs, shareholders, our fat cat chairman and various board hangers on.

But the vast majority goes to the players. Players like our beloved Kieron Dyer who refuses to play anywhere that isn't his favourite position. Then when he's indulged by his overly understanding manager and allowed to play where he wants to, he spends 85 minutes in a strop before he's subbed.

Kieron's personal wealth, that I contribute towards, goes on delightful consumer goods such as his "Hummer" vehicle that does ten miles to the gallon. Originally a US army vehicle its commerical equivalent is notorious for being owned by complete wankers.

Other vehicle information courtesy of the Newcastle Evening Chronicle:

It (the Hummer) will certainly be a change from the classic £167,000 Aston Martin Vanquish he already owns and from the £103,000 Ferrari he wrote off in December 2002 when he spun out of control on Newcastle's Swing Bridge.

The previous year his £50,000 Mercedes hit another car in Chester-le-Street.

In that crash, Dyer suffered cuts and bruises and the other driver was left with head injuries.

In May last year, he received his second speeding ban after clocking up his fourth motoring breach in two years.

He was banned for six months after being caught doing 63mph in a 50mph zone.

He was also banned for two months in July 2001 or speeding.


But then there is the other great earner. Selling replica shirts. Our chairman once boasted what a money spinner they are. The reason - kids stitch them for pennies in Indonesia and we, the fans, pay £45 a throw.

Then there is the coverage. To watch live football you have to pay for Sky. That's Sky as in Rupert Murdoch's Sky. That's Rupert Murdoch of The Sun, Fox News, etc etc. The man who backs Blair and Bush and made sure that every one of his newspapers, of 170 worldwide, carried a pro-war message.

Of course the players claim they hate the papers. That doesn't stop, however, our manager and captain both have paid columns in Murdoch papers. It doesn't also stop our manager advertising the News of the World on the telly.

So, what's my £450 being used for now, apart from paying ten minutes worth of Dyer's wages? Well, we're apparently putting a bid in for England wonder kid Wayne Rooney. The nation's favourite slackjawed teenager and Britain's most famous user of Brothels.

So by paying my money I'm contributing towards Dyer's many road accidents and his wrecking of the environemnt via his moron mobile. If by any vague chance Newcastle do end up buying Wayne Rooney then I shall also be conbtributing to his brothel bill.

In addition by buying a football shirt I'm condoing the use of sweatshop labour. By paying for Sky I'm funding Murdoch in his apparent quest for global war.

If Newcastle United, or any football club for that matter, was a burger bar I would be protesting outside by now. So why do I pay them my money?

Finally though, it all stopped as of yesterday. Next Thursday I fly to Vietnam for two years and there is a vague chance I may never watch Newcastle United again.

So that was why I wanted last night to be special. That is why after 25 years of trophyless support I at least wanted to go out on a high. And that is why after 90 minutes of utter crap, I felt like bursting in to tears as I left the ground.

I will miss Newcastle United so much and I can't for the life of me think why. They are not worthy of my support. I owe them nothing, and they owe me, and 50,000 other people like me everything.

Bastards.

Love, light and peace,

BykerSink

I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them but they were only satellites. It's wrong to wish on space hardware. I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care.